Center is the noiseless open space noticed within. I have experienced the primal silence at the source of my living awareness. This purity of being breathes through me, from the most subtle inner spaces, and into the most extraordinary galactic dimensions. The essential nature of the human being is the center.
Much of my daily life in this modern culture takes place in a rhythm outside of quiet and harmony. I was educated and socially trained in the chaotic rhythms along with the plugged in coping mechanisms of modern life. I learned well and practiced hard.
Chaos is everywhere in life: birth, family, adolescence, the workforce, a vacation, social relationships, politics, health challenges, uncontrollable weather events, cultural events, financial upheavals, housemates, friends, distant relatives, corporate monetization of basic human needs etc. The list is endless.
Life movements, beginning with conception, shape and form our capacity to respond and interact with all of the rhythms and vibrations moving in and around us. Chaos is a rhythm, a vibration. So is stillness and harmony.
Living right alongside the chaos, one molecule away is beauty and truth. Most of us have had an experience of this deep beauty, truth, stillness, if only for moments. We sense that it is there. Many of us can only access center when we are in a supportive environment. We seem to have to zigzag between our preferred circumstances and all the rest.
How do we create a bridge from one to the other no matter what the circumstances? Sometimes, there seems to be a moat or a crack, a fracture or a ring of fire around our sense of center.
Usually we go along navigating and enjoying life as best we can until a “trigger” happens. A full on chaotic moment, a trigger can feel like an internal shock, a threat, a disrespect, violence, a fear, a shame, sudden incapacity to cope, an injury, insomnia, confrontation, heat, digestive problems, difficulty taking a full breath. All of these can exist without being a trigger. They could be symptoms of a heart attack, a virus or the inklings of undigested traumatic experiences stored in the tissues. They point in the direction of rupture, damage, dis-ease. They are indications of broken bridges in the fabric of complete human beingness. Modern life continues paving impervious cover over these biological / ontological / neuro-psychological ruptures. The body will signal trauma over and over. Often in the chaotic rhythms we simply don’t notice. Or, we explain them away. Triggers are warning signs that something in our being needs our attention.
How do I find center when triggered? How do I find center when I am alerted by a crack in my coherence or a rupture somewhere in my being? This has been a lifelong quest. I have traveled and searched through many art expressions, embodiment techniques, healing modalities, therapeutic sessions, education, hypnosis, listening to music, spiritual trainings, religions and sports. For me the common centering activity in all of these experiences is within the underlying direct sensation of my breath. What is breathing me? How am I responding to the rhythm of my own breath?
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